You love your kids, but the last few weeks have been difficult. For whatever reason, they’ve started to say that they don’t want to go to your ex-spouse’s home. You know that there is no abuse happening, and you’re sure that they are completely safe with your ex. Nothing about your situation or your ex-spouse’s situation has changed, so it doesn’t make sense.

It’s tiring to have to fight with your children each time you need to transport them to the other parent’s house. What should you do? Should you ask your ex-spouse to step in? You have avoided bringing up the conflict and don’t want to hurt their feelings.

If your kids don’t want to see your ex-spouse, a discussion is in order

The first thing you should do is talk to your children. There could be a simple explanation for them not wanting to go to the other parent’s home. For example, if you recently purchased a new gaming system, your kids may be fighting because they want to stay and play. If your children’s friends live near you and not your ex, then they might be arguing that they want to stay where they can see the people they like.

Once you have this discussion, you can talk to your ex-spouse about what has been happening. If your children don’t give you any reason not to go, ask your ex-spouse if they can think of any reason why your children wouldn’t want to be there. If you and your ex can work together, you should be able to find out the core reason your children don’t want to go and address it moving forward. If a modification of custody is needed, then that is something you may be able to discuss and take to your attorney.