People who divorce do so for a variety of reasons. Whether a couple splits up because of money problems, infidelity or just growing apart, it can be a difficult process. This is the case even when it is clearly the best path forward for everyone involved.

Though some people say that divorce came out of the blue for them, there are others who express regret and feel they should have taken a more proactive role to preserve their marriage. Researchers claim that there are several common things that divorced people say they wish they’d changed in their marriage. If you’re considering getting a divorce here in Colorado, these two categories of regrets may help you understand your situation.

Divorced people wish they’d made changes on their own

The first set of regrets involves components that people may be able to work on alone without the input of their partner. Many people express remorse that they did not bring issues to light sooner than they did, feeling that doing so would mean more time to work on any problems. Some people say they wish they’d understood how big of a role they played in the decline of their own relationship. Owning up to one’s mistakes before the marriage ended perhaps could have saved it.

Some say they wish they’d been less afraid of being vulnerable to their partner. They feel that if only they’d been honest, it could mean resolution to several issues. However, that vulnerability could be dangerous when other people outside the relationship give their opinions. This is why some express regret over listening to outside opinions about the marriage that may have negatively influenced the person in the marriage.

Divorced people wish they’d made changes with their partner

On the other side, there are certain regrets that involve things that both people in the relationship could have taken on together. Perhaps the most obvious entry in this category is couple’s therapy. Though the timing of when to involve a professional is crucial, it could be a helpful step in preserving a relationship. It could also be part of an overall effort to improve communication in the marriage, which is another top regret.

One step could happen before the wedding – working through issues before marrying. Some say that they knew problems were present, but that they failed to work on them at that crucial juncture. There is also the question of maintaining the same level of romance enjoyed before marriage. Couples find it difficult to have one-on-one time in our modern world, but that doesn’t make doing so any less important. It is also a way of each person honoring the needs of the other and not taking each other for granted.

Going forward

Even with the best of intentions, some couples won’t be able to avoid divorce. It is nothing for them to be ashamed of and can happen to anyone. If you’re divorcing, know that you are not alone and that you can work towards a new, brighter future.