What Not To Say in Divorce Court
Going through the transition of a divorce is a tough experience, no matter how amicable both parties are toward one another. For many, the most stressful experience is the process of the final court hearing, where you, your soon-to-be-ex, the judge, and the attorneys finalize vital decisions about your future.
While your Broomfield divorce attorney will prepare you for the questions you will be asked, knowing what not to say in divorce court is equally important. Your conduct and testimony can significantly impact the court’s final ruling.
No Attacks or Insults
Divorce hearings often bring up difficult emotions, but the courtroom is not the place to vent your anger. Avoid any language that could be considered name-calling. Avoid personal attacks or insults and just state the facts. You must stay calm, even if you are experiencing big emotions. Do not shout accusations, interject insults, or use foul language. Let the evidence and your lawyer’s arguments speak for your case, while you appear composed and confident.
Do Not Use Disrespectful Language
Being respectful of the judge and the divorce proceedings is vital. Do not argue with the person deciding your future. While it is generally bad form, it could also result in contempt of court charges. When the judge speaks or asks a question, do not interrupt or act in a hostile manner. Avoid loud sighs, groans, rolling your eyes, or making faces, even if your spouse is making false allegations about you or your marriage.
Maintain courtroom etiquette by remaining calm and composed at all times. Address the judge and the courtroom with respect, and answer all questions politely and with a confident tone of voice. Both what you say and your nonverbal communication are important and could weigh into the final decisions about your future.
Refrain from Misleading or Exaggerated Statements
The number one rule in court is to tell the truth and the whole truth at that. Any untruths, overstatements, or little white lies while testifying could constitute perjury, which is a crime. Lying destroys your credibility and could lead to contempt of court. Stick to just the facts.
Avoid Absolutes and Irrelevant Details
Keep your answers brief, factual, and to the point. Avoid absolutes and definitive words like always, never, or every. These words make it easy for the opposing attorney to destroy your credibility by finding one instance that proves your absolute statement is false. For example, if your spouse barely ever attends your child’s performances or other school events, state that they rarely do so, not never.
If you have already stated a fact, do not feel the need to repeat it, unless specifically asked. Never volunteer extra information or personal opinions beyond what is asked of you. Unsolicited information often creates new openings for the opposing counsel to use against you. Stay focused and leave out any details that are not directly associated with the legal topic currently being discussed.
Never Say I Do Not Care
Avoid any statements of indifference. Even if you do not care about a certain detail in the proceedings, saying it directly could signal to the court that you are disengaged from the process, which is particularly harmful in cases involving children. Instead of coming across as nonchalant, you may come across as cold or disinterested. Opt for more cooperative phrasing, stating you are open to negotiation.
What To Say in Divorce Court
When you are going through your divorce hearing, knowing what you should and should not say is important. Lean on objective facts and only answer the question that is currently being asked. Control your tone of voice and emotions when speaking. If you have concerns about certain topics, go over them with your divorce attorney so they can advise you directly.