Whether you have faced a sudden event in your marriage or you have endured unhappiness for too many years, you may be considering divorce, and not for the first time. However, even if you have brought your concerns to friends and family, you may still be struggling to know if you should continue keeping up appearances for the sake of the children.
Deciding whether divorce is the right choice often involves a careful examination of yourself, your goals and your circumstances. Have you tried couples counseling or individual therapy to get at the root of your discontent? Have you suggested ways to rekindle your relationship to no avail? While determining the right time to divorce is a deeply personal decision, there are some definite signs that walking away may be in your best interests.
Are you seeing the signs?
It is common for long-married couples to lose their intimacy and fall into conversational ruts. Perhaps you and your spouse are experiencing this, and it seems that you have less and less in common. This may be a phase, and the right counselor can offer suggestions to help. However, if any of the following scenarios exist, your marriage may have deeper issues:
- Your spouse is involved with someone else, not as a fling, but an on-going affair which he or she has no intention of ending.
- Your partner is financially abusive, meaning he or she has complete control of the finances, and you have no access to or information about your family’s financial wellbeing.
- You and your spouse have lost respect for each other.
- Your spouse has done something that caused you to lose trust in him or her.
- Your spouse refuses to seek treatment for a drug, alcohol, gambling or other addiction.
- Your spouse is physically, sexually or emotionally abusive to you or your children.
- Your children are unhappy because of the tension or hostility in the home.
Perhaps the most telling sign that divorce is on the horizon is that your spouse has no interest in resolving any of the issues you feel are at the heart of your unhappy marriage. One spouse cannot fix a marriage if the other is not willing to put forth equal effort. You may not want to drag your family through a long, contentious divorce. Fortunately, you may find that a compassionate Colorado attorney can help you understand the options available for more peaceful divorce alternatives.