Danielsen Westhoff, PC

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For parents, making the decision to divorce can be especially difficult

Your marriage is over. In fact, you may be reading this now because you are planning to file for divorce and exploring your options. As easy as it may seem to complete the process in your mind, there is one thing holding you back. You fear that divorce will have a negative effect on your children.

Perhaps you know other unhappily married Colorado parents who stayed together for years for their children's sake. Maybe your own parents made such a sacrifice. It is undoubtedly a difficult decision to make, and the deeper you search for answers, the more conflicted you may become.

Should You Stay Or Go?

Some child experts contend that even a cordial divorce can be damaging for children and that, regardless of their own unhappiness, parents should attempt to put on a brave face and remain married. While there's no question that divorce can be difficult on childrenand parents alike, children are intuitive, and remaining married when your relationship is painful and frustrating will have a negative effect on your kids. There is also the potential that you or your spouse may suffer from depression, anxiety or other health issues because of the tremendous amount of stress you are under. None of these situations benefits your child.

Divorce Litmus Test

Like getting married, getting divorced is a life-changing decision and one that should only be made after careful consideration. While it's never wise to rush to file for divorce, the following factors may expedite your decision-making process:

  • Your spouse is verbally, physically or sexually abusive to you or the children.
  • You or your spouse have already moved on with another relationship.
  • Your spouse does not want to remain married.
  • Your spouse refuses to cooperate with you in front of the children.
  • The children are already unhappy because of the tension between you and your spouse.

Certainly, you will want to try to repair your marriage before calling it quits. However, if you have already tried couples therapy, marriage counseling or individual counseling to no avail, you may have come to the realization that there is no hope for a reconciliation.

If you've decided that divorce is your best option, your focus should center on providing a loving and supportive environment for your children. It is also very important to find a divorce attorney who will represent you and your children's best interests and help ensure that you receive a fair divorce settlement and custody arrangement.

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When faced with divorce or a child custody dispute, you may feel paralyzed as you grieve the loss of a relationship. But you need to take action. Once we take over the legal issues, you will be able to move toward a new normal.

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